Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Hurt by Church

If you know me you know I am somewhat of a church boy. I was raised in church. I was active in church. I had been active on the church scene since I can remember. SO you get this picture. Now not only have I been active but I actually feel that I know a good message in church when I hear one. I have been a victim of church folk antics from giving money to being made to feel guilty about my lifestyle.

However, you cannot be in church and have a lil bit of a brain before you start getting an understanding for yourself. When you get that relationship with GOD no one can just tell you anything and you start to figure out some things, with GOD'S help. This does not mean that mean there are not good men and women of GOD who deliver a helpful word to our lives. With that said I want to get to This past Sunday's message at my church and how it made me feel. Check out the following:


We need not look very far to find an "A" personality in our midst. They are the ones that are always "looking for a better way" or building a "better mouse trap". They have an entrepreneurial streak and don't mind taking risk in order to receive the rewards that can go along with it.

The "A" personality is usually very independent, direct and to the point. They will probably tell you to "get to the bottom line" or give them the "executive summary" to read. They don't like routine and often delegate routine chores to someone else.

The "A" Personality enjoys change, and one of their biggest fears is falling into a routine. They are very focused on what they are doing and are almost always relatively insensitive to others that might be around them. If they tell somebody something, or explain it, they'll say it ONCE and expect that everybody listening understood because they're ready to move on.

"A" type personalities are often found as business owners, managers, sales people (especially straight commission), or any position requiring a very "direct" person that typically "takes charge" and forges ahead. They are very decisive and persistent in getting what they want and need.

The "B" type loves to party, travel and be part of groups, and is often the center of attention. They love excitement and are often impatient and demanding as a result of being a "high energy" type. They love the limelight and the "hype" and often do very well in sales, advertising, marketing, public speaking, party planning, travel and other positions where they can have a "good time" while working.

The "B" personality is as Supportive of others as they are direct in their approach. Most people enjoy being around them or watching or listening to them "perform". Many radio and TV personalities, actors and high-profile speakers are often "B" personalities. It is very important for the "B" personality to be liked by others and can be easily hurt if they think someone doesn't care for them. They may take it very personally.

A good example of a "B" personality was the part Bette Midler played in the movie "Beaches" where her character was a big success in movies and on the stage. An outstanding line from the movie was, when having her best friend over who she hasn't seen in years, she takes her on a whirlwind tour of her elaborate apartment then says: "... enough about ME, let's talk about YOU. So, what do you think if ME?"

Certainly, most "B" personalities are not that "strong", but it does provide a good mental picture of some of the characteristics to look for in the "B" type.

This type often does well in sales as they tend to be very talkative and outgoing with people and are normally quite persuasive.


If you want to picture a typical "C" type personality, think of your accountant, an engineer or a computer programmer or analyst. The "C" thrives on details, accuracy and takes just about everything seriously. They are usually very neat, dress fashionably and are very calculated and precise in just about everything they do.

The "C" doesn't like "hype", rather, they want facts... information from which they can verify the details and make a decision. They are very consistent in everything they do because everything has an order or procedure; thus they can be predictable at times and often very dependable, however, don't expect them to make a decision when YOU want it, as it will only come after THEY have checked all the facts and are satisfied that everything is correct.

They are deep, thoughtful and usually very sensitive. They enjoy know how and why things are the way they are rather than taking anything at face value. They often make good customer service people and sales people, especially if the product to support or sell is something "technical" or involves numbers. They are loyal and patient and can leave customers with a good feeling that they're somebody that really cares. However, managers may need to make sure they don't spend TOO much time with details if the objective or expected outcome doesn't warrant the investment of their time and expertise.


The typical "D" personality doesn't like change, preferring instead, to have a set of guidelines from which to follow and they won't mind doing the same thing over and over. They are usually more motivated by security and benefits and are likely to get the "gold watch" if the company can provide the security they seek.

"D" types are very supportive of others and are often the type that others turn to when they have a problem. Their compassion level is usually quite high and often seem very happy and content with themselves and life in general. They are usually punctual, and consistent. They add "balance" and support in the workplace and may be the champion of the "under dog"

Now when I saw this I immediately knew who I was, and if you know me you know I am personality B.

SO imagine on Sunday I am in church and the pastor already says I am going to make some people feel bad with this message. SO I am all with a message that convicts you. It shows you the error of your ways. Once you see those errors then I believe the person bringing the message should reveal to you how to do such. Before I move on this is not an attack on my pastor or his message but it is how I feel. You know you have to say that now a days people will use this against the church.

In my pastor speaking about my personality he says People in this personality (I have to paraphrase)I want to say he said these people never go anywhere in life.


That had to be the worse thing I
had ever said to me in church. Those words hurt me so bad. They hurt for several reasons. It hurt because I believe in church you go there to get uplifted not bashed. It also hurts because you hold Pastors in a higher regard. SO the words they say hold a lot of meaning. After that I don't think I received anything else he said. I normally like to share messages in church where I see fit.

If I was new to church I would not come back after hearing such a message. I don't know maybe I am sensitive. Maybe it was harsh. I want to know your thoughts? I want to hear what you have to say


The Doc said...

Hey @DrMartinLee here.

I think you have absolutely every reason to be hurt. What your pastor did was take all of humanity, drop them into four categories, and then make the bold assumption that 25% of mankind gets nowhere in their life. He also gave you no reason to believe that anything he said was true.

Why are social people unsuccessful? Tell that to the entire social, arts, and fashion industries, not to mention 100% of all actors, and musicians.

DreaM said...


Don't worry about what that pastor said in his sermon. If the research was done thourougly he would realize that the majority of people have no one set personality but are a blend of different characteristics from all of them.

Like TheDoc said how can you sit up in a pulpit and say that 25% percent of all people are going to be unsucessful well then he needs to consider him self unsuccessful because becoming a pastor (especially of a large congregation) usually means you are an extremely social person. To be able to deal with a ton of personalities and gain funding and donations you have to be persuasive. I don't want to get into that they may be too much for a comment lol that's it's on blog post in and of itself.

Live your life boo! Don't let any human being tell you how to be you or what you can or can't accomplish. That is God's descretion and he loves you reguardless!! *big hugs and kisses*

Jamar Herrod said...

Hola. Honestly it is very narrowed-minded to assume the success of a personality type. I agree with Dream that people have a mixture of these personalities. However I contend that placing these personalities as a sermon is not the right move in this case. Im sorry this situation happened to you. Don't let me steal your joy.

Clinton said...

I can totally understand why you would be hurt by that, like you said youre supposed to leave uplifted and encouraged not discouraged and downtrodden. That was not right of him to categorize humanity in that way and then deduce that one set of people out the rest will not make it in life. Complete utter atrocity.